May Day

Thursday morning, a chilly May day,

Six years since our gracious lady passed away.

tumbling in, memories hit me

but fears not beat me

Clouds of the past cover me

but tears not flood me

 

At my old writing desk, all in disarray

wondering would she approve of me this way

regretful feelings within me

but fears not consume me

shadows of the future haunt me

but tears not drown me.

“How many rivers of tears must we cry

before all the deepest wells run dry”

 

Ivor Steven (c)  2018

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ivor20

G'day, and welcome to my blog site. My name is Ivor Steven, I live in Geelong, Australia. I'm an ex-industrial chemist, and a retired plumber, and a former Carer of my wife(Carole), for 30 years, who suffered from severe MS. I Write poetry about those personal thoughts, throughout and beyond my life as a Carer. I've been blogging for over 2 years, and writing poems for 19 years. Of course a lot of my poems are about my favourite subject Carole, but since I've been blogging my writings have become quite varied, humourous, mystical, observational, and even a few monster/horror poems.

34 thoughts on “May Day”

  2. It’s very difficult to be the one left behind, I know. Sorry for your loss. I wish I could say it gets easier, but it doesn’t really. But the wonderful memories do bring smiles. BTW, my desk is always in total disarray.

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    1. It does not get easier, but we learn to cope better, and we definitely recall the good memories. Thank you ❤️ for your kindness. Haha I think we have many friends with desks in disarray 😊

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    1. Thanks Kayla for your kind words ❤️ I’m reasonably healed now, these days I bask in in her graciousness and courage and enjoy telling my stories of her beautiful smile under so much adversity. 😊

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  6. Beautiful post. Sorry for your loss Ivor. She lives in your heart, beyond your desk…she only sees you her beloved. How precious the love you both shared and the caring of each other through life’s challenges.

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    1. Haha, no the wells never run dry, I’m a virtual living well of tears, my tear ducts broke their levee banks the day Carole got MS, and 36 years on I’ve found “No Cure For Love”…. The song was played at Carole’s funeral, It’s a beautiful song, but sad

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  13. A most beautiful poem written in memory of your beloved wife. I loved it and I read it twice. 🙂 Your words speak volumes. Although I know it can be tough on anniversaries and special days, you were so very fortunate to have known that soul-inspiring love. I’m certain she wouldn’t have seen the desk in array as we visit loved ones and not their surroundings. BTW: My desk is in similar fashion since I started this writing process. It’s catchie. 🙂

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  14. Ivor, it can get better if you will allow it. Sometimes it’s ourselves, we’re the ones who hold back our healing.
    Carole is with you and she sees all. Would she mind if your desk is all of a clutter? She would? Oh dear, in that case best get it sorted. xx

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    1. Oh I’m fine Sue, I think I’m reasonably well healed these days. It’s just that my emotions run deep, I’m that sort of guy, I suppose 30 years of caring for such a brave and gracious lady, has put a huge imprint in my soul xx, and on these sort of occasions, my tears still overflow.

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    1. I’m pleased you read it with the positives, some readers have misinterpreted my words, or haven’t seen my encouraging words to myself.

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