A Single Weeping Tree (A Villanelle)

This is my first attempt at writing a Villanelle style of poem. As a beginner, I took the easy way out and restructured one of my old poems, and actually I’ve wanted to revise this old classic of mine, the poem was originally called “This Lost Shadow”, and dear Shefali of  writtenframes  ,inspired/prompted me to try to write one. I’m not sure if I’ve got the Villanelle style technically ok, so please, I’m open to any suggestions and corrections to my effort here.

 

I’m singing this song about a single weeping tree

Why am I so sleepy, am I ageing too quickly

I’m writing that book for a soul gone cold

 

I’m so physically worn and mentally at sea

Why am I so anxious and lonely

I’m singing this song about a single weeping tree

 

I’m writing a song about my return to the fold

Why am I so sore, have I lost my plea

I’m writing that book for a soul gone cold

 

I’m a furnace log, burning up with glee

I’m a sinking ship, all about to flee

I’m writing this song about a single weeping tree

 

I’m an overburdened camel, not to be told

I’m an empty desert, a void, far as the eye can see

I’m writing that book for a soul gone cold

 

I’m a broken branch, withering and dying, oh so slowly

I’m this lost shadow, wandering this barren land furtively

I’m singing this song about a single weeping tree

I’m writing that book for a soul gone cold

 

Ivor Steven (c)  2018

Thank you to dear Shefali for her wonderful encouragement and invaluable assistance, and if you would like to have a try at a Villanelle here’s a very good “How To” link,              A link to help you : https://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Villanelle

 

 

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ivor20

G'day, and welcome to my blog site. My name is Ivor Steven, I live in Geelong, Australia. I'm an ex-industrial chemist, and a retired plumber, and a former Carer of my wife(Carole), for 30 years, who suffered from severe MS. I Write poetry about those personal thoughts, throughout and beyond my life as a Carer. I've been blogging for over 2 years, and writing poems for 19 years. Of course a lot of my poems are about my favourite subject Carole, but since I've been blogging my writings have become quite varied, humourous, mystical, observational, and even a few monster/horror poems.

73 thoughts on “A Single Weeping Tree (A Villanelle)”

  7. bravo Ivor! A villanelle is a challenging format and you took it on strong and true to form. you captured the pastoral melancholy precisely and love the theme of longing and reminiscing you crafted here. so very poignant words and the rhyming comes effortlessly from you. i have attempted but never published a villanelle, I get too critical of my lines. really loved yours Ivor, well done again.

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  11. Well done Ivor a beautiful poem. I’ve just followed your link to the rules and How To. It sounds far too complicated for me to attempt, always assuming I could think of a poem in the first place! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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      3. Thank you I will do that shortly after I’ve published Gerry’s latest photo challenge from Weekly Prompts. We had some difficulties with the time zones so decided to publish each one just after midnight Canada time to try and have us in the same time zone. That also means Australia and some other places get the prompt on the same date too.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Ivor thank you for the link. I have read every letter on there. Gerry told me yesterday that the numbers of separated children has risen from 2,000 to 3,000. It is a heartbreaking situation and probably illegal!

        Liked by 1 person

      6. It certainly is Illegal and totally improper to treat children like that. You can’t stoop any lower…… Oh, I’m doing my Weekly Photo Prompt at the moment, that might help me calm down, …… I do get so emotional…… I’ve been through a lot of trauma in my life, but I’m sure it’s nothing compared to what these kids are going through….. … Oh best I get to my photos…..

        Liked by 1 person

  14. I had to look up this style of writing Ivor. So thank you for teaching me my “something new today”. 🙂

    The weeping tree is what kept getting to me. It made me, throughout the reading of it, kind of chant “write that book for that soul”.

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  15. I am not sure who is supposed to be proud reading this… you or me! I absolutely loved this.. ❤ ❤ ❤

    I admire your curious spirit, ready to take challenges and to go out of your comfort zone…What a show you have put! Bravo!

    Lots of love!

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    1. Thank you maestro, you’re a good tutor. I’m exstatic with results, my study time was limited, your inspiration guided me, I followed your instructions, my lines flowed free 😉💛

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    1. Oh Shefali urged me into writing one, and I reacted to her challenge, she(my tutor in this project) was super proud of my effort, but it a difficult format for me. xx

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  19. Really enjoy the challenge of the Villanelle Ivor, I have published a few in the past no point keeping the effort in the bottom drawer. Like the man said you done well.

    Now write a haiku
    Just seventeen syllables
    Based on the seasons

    Beauty of morning
    Swimming in a blue, green sea
    Summer on a beach

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      2. Behind A Veil

        We all wear a mask You’ll hear me ask At the local veil sales Lurking in the back pews Sneaking a view From behind a curtain of blue

        Like

  21. Pingback: Sleepless. – Ivor.Plumber/Poet

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