G'day, and welcome to my blog site. My name is Ivor Steven, I live in Geelong, Australia. I'm an ex-industrial chemist, and a retired plumber, and a former Carer of my wife(Carole), for 30 years, who suffered from severe MS. I Write poetry about those personal thoughts, throughout and beyond my life as a Carer.
I've been blogging for over 2 years, and writing poems for 19 years. Of course a lot of my poems are about my favourite subject Carole, but since I've been blogging my writings have become quite varied, humourous, mystical, observational, and even a few monster/horror poems.
View all posts by ivor20
55 thoughts on “In My Mind”
It means you are still grieving, and that’s ok my friend. 🙂
Ah, I think some time I’m a lazy writer, or I run out of words, or I’ve already said what I’ve wanted to say, It’s unusual for me to write a very long poem.
i am sorry you have these intrusive thoughts Ivor, it hurts when the one we love so dearly is so out of reach, in another realm. us here desperately wanting to know if they are doing ok. then the dreams come, and as if they are messages to calm our aching heart. i hope these days are easing over into better ones for you.
My thoughts aren’t too intrusive, but as you know they come and go, but the times when I’m completely flooded in her presence, are getting fewer. However these weeks are tough for me, The Anniversary of her passing is next Thursday 3rd, and it was on a Thursday as well. I’m seeing my Psychologist on Friday, as I’ve been struggling since I’ve been home from my cruise, there’s been other events that have triggered my sadness and they’ve disturbed me greatly.
Strange as it seems, some unfinished cut-short dreams are all the more cherished. Like a piece of something that never was whole, but better than not having that piece at all.
Thank you Jen, your comment was sent to my spam, so I’ve just found it. 😊 A lot of my poems come from my dreams, and I have a habit of waking and jotting down what I can remember, then in the mornings I expand on my somewhat dreamy notes.
I know you get a lot of dreams, Ivor, but you’ve been so busy & dealing with such an extreme place to what you’re used to, your brain is probably searching for who and where is comfortable & familiar to you. Hope you manage to get some restful sleep after having family around you & sharing happy times 😊
Excellent! NYC can get some heavy rain when it comes..suddenly you see guys rush out of nowhere with bags or shopping trolleys full of umbrellas for sale! 😂 Enjoy your good weather! 🌞
I’ve been dreaming a lot more as I’ve gotten older. I enjoy most of the worlds I visit, but I do wake up sometimes with my heart hurting and beating too fast an I carry that with me all day long. It hasn’t been that long for you, my friend, since you lived in that whirl of pain. It’s still here, and it’s okay. You are aware of where you are and are working to put everything into perspective. Its just that our dreams have a way of sneaking our real and fake emotions into our conscience, and we have no control of what comes out. Keep working with someone to get ahold of some control.
Yes I’m continuing to do so Claudia, but all on hold now, Philadelphia, my first night of meeting a few my tribe, is beyond my dream world come true ❤️💜🌍😁🤗
A wonderful read that we can all relate to!
Keep dreamin’…daydreams and nightdreams. I think dreams can have meaning and purpose….even if sometimes just to give our mind and subconscious a good airing-out! 🙂
Hope your travels are going well!
Besides your family, which is the best part of the trip, what else have you enjoyed so far?!? Like a museum? or Food? or What?!
HUGS!!! 🙂
Oh Carolyn, definitely Central Park was my fav’, I went there every day,… Then the Rockefeller Centre.
Tonight I’m in Philadelphia, and comfortably sleeping in a bed at cousin Maureen’s. I’m in my dream-world….. Yeah… I’ve met her kids and grandchildren, so many hugs and kisses, I’ve cried 😂🤗💜
Some days are diamonds !!!
I’ve adrenaline joy running through my veins ❤️❤️❤️
Bye for now, I must get more sleep xx
It means you are still grieving, and that’s ok my friend. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you my friend.
LikeLike
😔
LikeLiked by 1 person
Grief maybe the path to healing. Don’t stray. You will be okay. 💕
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, I’m Ok..
LikeLike
Good to hear Ivor.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow I was humming in such a flow that the sudden ending made me sad!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, it’s not meant to be sad, just questions about unanswered dreams.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I got sad because I wanted it to last for some more time. It was brilliant 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, I think some time I’m a lazy writer, or I run out of words, or I’ve already said what I’ve wanted to say, It’s unusual for me to write a very long poem.
LikeLike
Yeah I understand I’m somewhat the same lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hehe, I’m nearly 67, maybe i just get tired……
LikeLiked by 1 person
And I’m just lazy then haha
LikeLike
😊 😊 ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are definitely OK
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep, I’m dreamiing of the meaning.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dreams are our way of clearing and cleansing internal stuff.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I have lots of dreams, I should be extra clean by now
LikeLiked by 2 people
lol!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ivor, your love is so everlasting. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊 A thousand kisses deep
LikeLike
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
LikeLike
❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dreams, dreams, what do they all mean? With you on this one Ivor 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
So many dreams Sue, 😊😊
LikeLike
Gosh I love this! So much!
LikeLiked by 1 person
A few simple words that flow that flowed for me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
To me simple is more beautiful. Good job!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I totally agree
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
i am sorry you have these intrusive thoughts Ivor, it hurts when the one we love so dearly is so out of reach, in another realm. us here desperately wanting to know if they are doing ok. then the dreams come, and as if they are messages to calm our aching heart. i hope these days are easing over into better ones for you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My thoughts aren’t too intrusive, but as you know they come and go, but the times when I’m completely flooded in her presence, are getting fewer. However these weeks are tough for me, The Anniversary of her passing is next Thursday 3rd, and it was on a Thursday as well. I’m seeing my Psychologist on Friday, as I’ve been struggling since I’ve been home from my cruise, there’s been other events that have triggered my sadness and they’ve disturbed me greatly.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Strange as it seems, some unfinished cut-short dreams are all the more cherished. Like a piece of something that never was whole, but better than not having that piece at all.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Jen, your comment was sent to my spam, so I’ve just found it. 😊 A lot of my poems come from my dreams, and I have a habit of waking and jotting down what I can remember, then in the mornings I expand on my somewhat dreamy notes.
LikeLike
Dream on Ivor, dream on.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The dream is becoming reality today, I’m going to Philadelphia to see my cousins, yeah…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Enjoy the celebrations.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brain overload Ivor. I recognise the symptoms!!!
Hope the Phili trip is great.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your diagnosis is correct my friend, Philadelphia here I come
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know you get a lot of dreams, Ivor, but you’ve been so busy & dealing with such an extreme place to what you’re used to, your brain is probably searching for who and where is comfortable & familiar to you. Hope you manage to get some restful sleep after having family around you & sharing happy times 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes I’m Philadelphia now, plenty of hugs and family kisses. I couldn’t be more happy or comfortable.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s so good to hear, Ivor..have a fantastic time! ☺️
LikeLiked by 1 person
The weather is being a lot kinder here as well !!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent! NYC can get some heavy rain when it comes..suddenly you see guys rush out of nowhere with bags or shopping trolleys full of umbrellas for sale! 😂 Enjoy your good weather! 🌞
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was a lovely day here in Philadelphia today 😊😉☺️💜
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lovely to hear, Ivor..sunny days & sunny smiles! ☺️
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve been dreaming a lot more as I’ve gotten older. I enjoy most of the worlds I visit, but I do wake up sometimes with my heart hurting and beating too fast an I carry that with me all day long. It hasn’t been that long for you, my friend, since you lived in that whirl of pain. It’s still here, and it’s okay. You are aware of where you are and are working to put everything into perspective. Its just that our dreams have a way of sneaking our real and fake emotions into our conscience, and we have no control of what comes out. Keep working with someone to get ahold of some control.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes I’m continuing to do so Claudia, but all on hold now, Philadelphia, my first night of meeting a few my tribe, is beyond my dream world come true ❤️💜🌍😁🤗
LikeLiked by 1 person
A wonderful read that we can all relate to!
Keep dreamin’…daydreams and nightdreams. I think dreams can have meaning and purpose….even if sometimes just to give our mind and subconscious a good airing-out! 🙂
Hope your travels are going well!
Besides your family, which is the best part of the trip, what else have you enjoyed so far?!? Like a museum? or Food? or What?!
HUGS!!! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh Carolyn, definitely Central Park was my fav’, I went there every day,… Then the Rockefeller Centre.
Tonight I’m in Philadelphia, and comfortably sleeping in a bed at cousin Maureen’s. I’m in my dream-world….. Yeah… I’ve met her kids and grandchildren, so many hugs and kisses, I’ve cried 😂🤗💜
Some days are diamonds !!!
I’ve adrenaline joy running through my veins ❤️❤️❤️
Bye for now, I must get more sleep xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
This makes me cry!!! Joy-tears!!! 🙂 ❤ 😀
LikeLike
A beautiful way to greet healing, Ivor. I hope you are enjoying your trip. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dreams often are both questions and answers… I hope you find your answers. Peace always!
LikeLike