Humour – Ivor.Plumber/Poet

The Icings on the Cake, or a Sweet Full Moon

When the full moon rises, Frankie and I can’t help but chase its glow. What begins as a playful lift‑off soon becomes a delicious journey through clouds that taste like desserts and skies that shimmer with childhood magic.

“Itmims”
Ivor’s Time Machine In Micro Space

The Icings on the Cake, or a Sweet Full Moon

I’ve time enough to finish my mushy mango.
The full moon is about to put on a show.
Both Frankie and my spacecraft, Itmims,
are howling and revving to go.

I pour the leftover banana juice
into the awaiting craft’s fuel compartment,
then untether the impatient machine,
and Frankie and I quickly jump aboard.
Up, up and away we go,
high above the mist and creamy snow.

We fly toward the cherry pie clouds
and twilight’s strawberry jelly sky,
where, to our consummate delight,
we spy the full moon’s white Knight
glowing brighter than grandma’s
world-famous passionfruit pavlova

Ivor Steven © August 2026

No Connection, or Seven Rhyming Couplets

Still offline, still smiling. While the internet takes its sweet time returning, I’ve tapped out a whimsical little poem on my tiny iPhone screen — a lighthearted look at my ongoing battle with the great digital void. Hope it brings a grin.

And fittingly, as this article goes live, I’m pleased to announce that my internet connection has finally returned.

No Connection, or Seven Rhyming Couplets

I’m in isolation;
I have no internet connection.

Now falling beyond day five,
without my writer’s bee hive.

ISP could not solve the problem –
oh, what a sad conundrum

There’s a frog and toad
on the outside pole’s naughty node.

Linesmen, trucks, and ladders are required;
I’m frustrated, tired, and uninspired.

Might be fixed in another 48 hours …
plenty of time to pluck more moonflowers.

Now climbing into day seven,
I’m sailing up the internet’s stairway to heaven.

And now, with the moon back in view and the wires behaving, here’s the song that carried me through.

Ivor Steven © June 2026

A Mid-Morning Fling

Today, a casual stroll on the path turned into an unexpected glimpse of tenderness, and all we can do is slow our steps and witness the quiet life unfolding at our feet

A Mid-Morning Fling

It was odd to see larks
Lying on the concrete path.
At first, I thought
One of them was injured.

Then, as I approached
For a closer gander,
The grounded bird
Was not wounded at all,
But pleasantly enjoying
Her partner’s advances.

And as I edged nearer,
My unexpected presence
Did disrupt their
Mid-morning fling.

A gentle reminder that even the smallest moments can shift the rhythm of a day — just as a song can shift the rhythm of a heart

Ivor Steven © May 2026

Magazine features my new poem, “Email Overload.”

Featured Image Above: The image is a photomontage of my computer desk, a Pandora Box, and my imaginary space craft, ‘ITMIMS’ (Ivor’s Time Machine In Micro Space)

Hello, dear readers and followers. I contribute to Coffee House Writers magazine (USA) every second week, and I’m delighted to share that my latest poem, “Email Overload,” appears in the new issue. You can read it by following the link below.
>> Email Overload – Coffee House Writers

‘ITMIMS’ – Ivor’s Time Machine In Micro Space

Until Eyes Hear Sound

Amazon >> Amazon.com : Until Eyes Hear Sound

Lulu Books >> Until Eyes Hear Sound (lulu.com)

Perceptions:

Amazon >> Perceptions : Steven, Ivor, Knight, Derrick: Amazon.com.au: Books
Lulu Books >> Perceptions (lulu.com)

Tullawalla:

Amazon >> Tullawalla A Meeting Place Where My Empty Hands are Full of Memories and Rhymes : Steven, Ivor: Amazon.com.au: Books

OR: >> You may email me directly for a signed copy at
ivorrs20@gmail.com … and I can send you a PayPal account,
for the Book, plus Postage.

Ivor Steven © April 2026

Our Shy Half-moon

A warm autumn sky, a bright afternoon, and a half‑moon trying not to be noticed.

Our Shy Half-moon

In our sunny Autumn sky,
the afternoon’s silvery half-moon
is naturally simple to pinpoint.

Especically
if you study your moon-chart app’
before you dip your eyes
into the dazzling blue yonder.

But beware — do not stare.
Our daytime moon is rather shy
about being exposed
by the sun’s intrusive glare.

A bright little moon‑tune to echo beneath the daylight sky.

Ivor Steven © April 2026

An Unfathomable Mess

Born at 3 am on a scribble pad, when crumbs of musing refused to let me sleep.

An Unfathomable Mess

To near and far,
from inside a cookie jar,
I send my midnight scribbles.

I must confess,
I’ve delved so deep
into crumbled musings
and drowsy dribbles,
I’ll need to decompress
before I resurface
for a peep
at my unfathomable mess.

A gentle goodnight to follow my unfathomable mess.

Ivor Steven © March 2026

Crows in Moscow (a Tanka)

Featured Image Above: He calls out early, as if he knows the world is about to tilt again.

Crows in Moscow (a Tanka)

How do the crows know –
when to flee life’s undertow?
Has the status quo
been shot by stupid’s crossbow,
without talking to Moscow?

After all that swooping and shouting, a soft goodbye feels about right.

Ivor Steven © February 2026

Back On The Tools. (adapted from “An Old-time Plumber”)

Sorry to my readers and followers for my lack of blogging this week … The old plumber/poet traded his quill in for his old rusty spanner and dirty hammer …
Drawing Above: done for me by Rose in 2017 – https://poetrummager.org/

Back On The Tools. (adapted from “An Old-time Plumber”)

I’ll be seventy-five in July
Could I actually do the task?
Am I physically strong enough?
Am I mentally sharp and able enough
To endure four to five days of hard work?

Surprise, surprise – I have survived the first three days.
The job is nearing completion, and the client is suitably pleased,
And I am home beside the fan, enjoying a cold glass of beer.
Although when I finished, it was nearly dinner time,
And my back was stiff as red-gum bark –
But a job stamped by my old-time quality trademark.

Before I can wrap up the job and rest on the weekend,
I’m waiting for a made-to-order cover panel
Which, unfortunately, will conceal all of my handiwork.

The Poet’s Lucky Envelope Humdrum

While waiting for my CHW article to appear last night, I found myself knee‑deep in “lucky envelopes” for the book‑stall dip — a poet’s version of factory work, complete with midnight muttering and a very patient supervisor. Somewhere between the folding and the stacking, this little whimsy arrived.

The Poet’s Lucky Envelope Humdrum

A poem a day is my way;
print five copies of each without delay.
Do not overflow the out tray –
place the copies in relay,
the next five crossways …
and so on – it’s child’s play.

Fold each foolscap page in half,
then fold again, into quarters.
Any fool can do it!
Open an envelope,
shove in the folded page
(No need for that frustrated rage).
Start a row of five;
put the next five on top …
and so on – it’s child’s play
’til midnight ends the day.

And for the soundtrack to this late‑night humdrum, here’s Leonard Cohen and U2 with Tower of Song — a perfect companion for a poet quietly working under the watchful eye of Frankie.

Who’s Afraid?

Featured Image: This is evening’s Halloween Twilight Sky

This evening’s Halloween twilight sky

Sorry, no bats! But plenty of bird silhouettes in the Halloween sky …

A big thank you to Cheryl, the ‘Gulf Coast Poet’, for inspiring my whimsical poem.
>> What are You Afraid of? | Gulf Coast Poet

Who’s Afraid?

“Don’t be afraid”
It’s easier said than done
What about
The shady Everglades
And the deadly Nightshade
I, for one
Like my bats underdone

Ivor Steven (c) October 31st 2025